Many people ask me about the term "emotional affair" and are curious as to what distinguishes it from innocent friendship. Healthy friendships do not exclude one's wife or husband; emotional affairs zoosk.com Reviews to varying degrees do. In an emotional affair either the relationship itself or the intensity of the emotional bond and the duration of the relationship are often intentionally hidden from the spouse.
Although an emotional affair might
begin as an innocent friendship, over time a close emotional bond can develop
as the two increasingly turn to one another for connection and/or support.
Although this type of relationship often involves mutual interest and emotional
attraction, in some cases one person may not actually be interested in the
other and yet they continue to encourage the others' interest in them for the
sake of desired attention. Individuals involved in an emotional affair often
rationalize to themselves and others... "but we're just friends." zoosk This
rationalization may feel like an absolute truth, particularly to the unfaithful
spouse who is "just" enjoying the attention and adoration of someone
outside the marriage perhaps without reciprocal feelings.
An emotional affair is
characterized by infidelity that occurs through the sharing of personal
thoughts and emotions. With today's technology emotional affairs can occur
without any face to face contact and are sometimes limited to phone
conversations, text messages, and online chats. Because of the lack of contact,
some people engaged in an emotional affair do not believe that they are being
unfaithful or even that they are doing anything wrong. They rationalize that
the relationship can't be wrong if there is no physical intimacy.
Emotional affairs are a form of
infidelity that often causes significant damage to the marriage or primary
relationship. zoosk.com The wounds of emotional affairs run as deep
and sometimes even deeper than the wounds from affairs involving physical
intimacy. Although the faithful spouse may sense something is wrong, they often
are unclear about or completely unaware of the unfolding dynamic. While
minimizing the relationship to themselves and others, the person participating
in the "friendship" often intensifies their spouse's pain with
accusations that the faithful spouse is being controlling or jealous.
When a person in a committed
relationship or marriage finds him or herself drawn to another person on an
emotional level, it would be wise to consider that emotional affairs are a form
of betrayal and often have similar consequences as physical affairs. If you are
married or in a committed relationship and have heard yourself say, "but
we are just friends" I invite you to step back and consider these seven
dangers signs that your friendship may actually be a form of betrayal:
Do you...
1. Find yourself reaching out to
this person to share life's ups and downs... often before you share them with
your spouse?
2. Keep secrets, delete texts, talk
when your spouse is not around or "forget" to mention contact with
this person to your spouse?
3. Discuss problems in your
marriage with this person?
4. Believe this person understands
you better than anyone, including your spouse? Or that your interests are more
compatible with this person than
with your spouse?
5. Fantasize that this person will
always be there for you; that if all else fails you will have each other?
6. Lie or tell half truths to cover
up contact with this person?
7. Fail to tell your spouse about
the relationship or you minimize the closeness in the relationship?
If these danger signs resonate with
you, it is likely your marriage may be suffering as a result. Although it can
be difficult to let go of the support, adoration, and spoken or unspoken
fantasies that you have come to enjoy, the relationship must end. Transparency
and truthfulness are essential for a healthy marriage; neither of which can
exist if one person is in an emotionally intimate relationship with someone
else. If you value your marriage end the emotional affair and begin the process
of rebuilding trust and healing the wounds of betrayal.
0 Comments